Understand that their distorted perception of themselves (and others) may be outdated and unhelpful.Compare current perceptions and feelings with those experienced in childhood.Consider the attachment style they adopt in therapy.Become more aware of the attachment strategies they use in their relationships.Avoiding being too close and being perceived as a threat.Acting as a model for dealing with separation.Taking into account the client’s attachment styles when handling closeness and interactions.Making themselves emotionally available and a reliable and secure base.Allowing the client to speak via their attachment system.Learning about attachment styles in childhood and their possible causes and effects makes it possible to learn to heal and potentially recover troubled relationships with partners, families, and friends (Gibson, 2020).Īttachment-based psychotherapy (not to be confused with Attachment Therapy, which has questionable efficacy and morality) is based on a ttachment theory as described by its originator John Bowlby (1988) and typically includes the therapist (Brisch, 2012):
#Attachment style quiz how to#
How to Approach Attachment Styles in Therapy Those with a secure attachment style “were taught you can be safe while being vulnerable and that their needs were worthy of being met” (Gibson, 2020, p. Have the potential to shift individuals in other attachment styles to a more secure one.Are supportive, open, and available in their relationships.Individuals with a secure attachment style often have experienced available and supportive parents. The individual most likely lacked consistent and predictable caregiving as a child, leaving them expecting to be rejected. Sacrifice their own needs to maintain relationships.Have a heightened fear of being abandoned.Anxious attachmentĪnxious attachment also results from inconsistency during childhood, often the result of absenteeism from caregivers. Having, most likely, experienced some form of abuse early in their lives, the individual craves love but expects betrayal, resulting in unpredictable behavior. Feel betrayal is always just around the corner.Over-analyze micro expressions, such as body language, to look for betrayal.Regularly shift between being distant and vulnerable.Fearful-avoidant (sometimes referred to as ‘disorganized’)Īn individual who experienced an untrusting relationship with caregivers (they may have been addicts or emotionally unwell) during childhood may be fearful-avoidant across all adult relationships (romantic and otherwise). Feel overwhelmed when heavily relied uponĪs a result, the individual may retreat from the relationship physically and emotionally (Gibson, 2020).Find close involvement with their partners difficult.Unlikely to connect at an intimate level.They typically show the following characteristics: Someone who has adopted a dismissive-avoidant style perpetuates a sense of defectiveness and uncertainty in their relationships. Dismissive-avoidant (sometimes referred to as ‘avoidant’) Such an early relationship can lead to four different attachment styles with corresponding underlying characteristics (Cassidy et al., 2013 Gibson, 2020 The Attachment Project, 2020). For example, early self-sufficiency may leave individuals unable to develop close relationships and lonely in later life.ĭeveloped by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1960s, attachment theory recognizes the importance of the child’s dependence on their caregiver (Bowlby, 1988).
When children have negligent parents or caregivers – perhaps they are not present or emotionally unavailable – they can form unhelpful attachment patterns. Over time, such scripts become ‘stories,’ providing a dependable base from which to explore and a safe place to return (Cassidy et al., 2013). For example, “When I am hurting, I go to my mother for comfort” (Cassidy et al., 2013, p.
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